JUST MARRIED Send This Review to a Friend
The year is barely under way and already there's a candidate for the worst list. "Just Married" is about two young ninnies, played by Brittany Murphy and Ashton Kutcher, who fall in love, are married and have a disastrous European honeymoon that leads to bickering and possible divorce before they see the light. The characters are so stupid they deserve each other, but you don't deserve them.
Sarah (Murphy) is nicknamed Peewee and her mom is called Pussy. Any film with a Peewee and a Pussy is suspect from the start. Peewee's family is rich and her dad doesn't think she should marry a Pole--her intended is Tom Leezak (Kutcher). But the two are head over heels, at least at the start, and no advice can deter them. The stage is set for a big anemic WASP wedding.
The disasters that befall Sarah and Tom on their honeymoon strain their relationship. A few incidents are moderately funny, but the whole situation is so inane that the embarrassment of a film this awful takes away from what humor smashes through. Complications ensue when a wealthy former boyfriend of Sarah's turns up in Venice to further ruin the messed up honeymoon with his pitch to whisk her away from her new spouse.
The trip back is no picnic either, and the decision is to get divorced. No such luck. We have to watch them kiss and make-up, which is no big surprise. Perhaps some will find mirth in the honeymooners trying to get it on in the loo of a plane after an overweight guy has left a huge stink he attributes to Mexican food. Maybe they'll laugh at the injury to the flight attendant trying to pull open the door as Tom has his foot caught in the toilet. That's the general humor level.
One thing the film, written by Sam Harper and directed by Shawn Levy, can't ruin is the appeal of Venice. But for the first time I was glad to leave it. A 20th Century Fox release.
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